Going Deeper
Now Playing: Gypsy Flat Road by Sandra McCracken 
I don't quite know how to formulate my thoughts into words.
I'm part of a program called Celebrate Recovery that is run by my church. It is a form of 12-step recovery program based on Christian principles. (If you know what I'm talking about, but have never been, I strongly urge you to come visit us on a Monday night.) I initially got involved to play in the band, but I've really been blessed to get to know the guys in my group - some that I knew before and others that I had never met before coming to CR.
I've spent my life in the church. Even in my darkest days, I would find my way to church pretty much every week. But there's always been a disconnect for me and I finally feel like I'm beginning to grasp it.
The message of the church (at least in my experience of it) has been that of a life-changing decision. And, indeed, the decision to follow Christ is life-changing. But I've seen a good many people - and have become one myself lately - wrecked by their inability to attain the level of life-change that they were "pitched" at the time of decision.
[At this point I opt to avoid too deep theology.] When that decision occurs, I think that life-change does happen, but it happens at a really deep place and moving it outward to action from inward consent is a long, arduous, and often painful process.
I was reading Brennan Manning this morning and he spoke of believers who have walked "the long and lonely road to Calvary." Two things about that stand out to me:
- Those who are walking are believers
- The road is long and lonely.
This stands out because it seems like our pitch is often a short, fast track, walked once and forever abandoned.
I think that maybe the decision made in childhood was only the beginning of that walk. Sadly, I may not have travelled very far in the time since. Certainly I've become better informed and more "educated" about theory, practice, and principle. But my journeying has been short.
My CR friends are on this journey and make no excuses for it. We introduce ourselves: "I'm _______ a greatful believer in Jesus Christ, Celebrating Recovery (or sometimes "struggling with") ____________." I like that because it signifies decision made/journey in progress.
In my mind, the "pitch" has always been "1) Make decision, 2) Arrive at destination, 3) Hold ground and don't fall backward." Which is a pretty stressful proposition when you have to hold your ground starting at 8 years old. This new way of thinking about things seems much less stressful, much more adventurous, and certainly more McManus-ian: "1) Make decision, 2) Push forward, 3) Slip, fall, fail, 4) Keep pushing forward, 5) Allow what was placed deep inside to be drawn to the surface where that life-change deep within is witnessed by life-change in practice.
Related Posts:
Music
I've realized something over the past few days that very much saddens me.
I live in a world overrun by music. Just last week, my computer refused to let me sync my iPod because I was out of space (and I only try to syn about 2/3 of the music on my computer as it is).
I've started listening to more and more talk radio because it is so rare for music on the radio to really captivate me.
The last great band I discovered was The Frames, earlier this year. Since then I've played so much of their stuff that even the best songs have lost their lustre.
I used to be a professional concert promoter, so the thrill of the concert is totally lost for me. I can't tell you the last time that I went to a show where I was really captivated by a band. (Perhaps it was Eisley, Dec. 2002).
We promoted concerts for one of my all time favorite bands. I could have sat a few feet away from my favorite songwriter as he played groundbreaking new material. What was I doing? Sitting in the production room playing Tony Hawk.
But I think back to the first time I saw Shane Barnard (Aug. 1999) playing in a little room where everyone sat on the floor. No professional lighting just some little clear Christmas lights around the corner of the room that served as the stage. It was amazing.
Or there were the transcendent moments of playing music in the Horn/Knapp lobby at Texas Tech where every song felt as if the future rested on it. (At least that's how it felt to me).
I love music. I miss it. I don't know how to get it back.
Soundtrack for a Weekend
So, it's almost the weekend. I know several people that are traveling this weekend - some lucky enough to be going to football games. So, I thought I'd put together a little list of road trip music for those lucky enough to get out of town and hang on to the last vestiges of summer.
Dashboard Confessional: Dusk and Summer
The Beach Boys: Pet Sounds
Bebo Norman: Between the Dreaming and the Coming True
Matt Wertz: Somedays
Fleetwood Mac: Rumours
Engage
I'm only posting a message today to encourage you to go back and engage the conversation from yesterday.
Deep Question
Deep Question from Ryan Brymer on Vimeo.
The audio clip in the video is from The House Show by Derek Webb. This great album contains several monologues that delve into some very deep issues, each of which could spark great discussion.
You can buy this album on Amazon, Derek Webb.com, or iTunes.
Relocation
For a variety of reasons, I've decided to close my secondary blog "Ryan's Radio". I've relocated selected posts over here to Tilling the Soil. You can access them in the new "Ryan's Radio" category.
Any new music-related posts will go up here. Thanks to those who supported the other site the past 6 months.
Book Madness
So, we're approaching the last 1/4 of the year here in a few weeks. As you may know I'm kind of a book nerd (or, book obsessive), so I thought I would let you know what my bookshelf looks like for the next 3 months.
Books I'm working on
- Bono in Conversation by Michka Assayas (just a casual slow reading pleasure)
- Ruthless Trust by Brennan Manning (Tilling the Book)
- Wide Awake by Erwin McManus (just getting started)
- The New Media Frontier ed. by Reynolds + Overton (got it in return for writing a review about it. look foward to reading Rhett Smith's contribution)
Books I hope to get to and complete by year's end
- Spiritual Leadership by Henry Blackaby (strongly recommended by my boss, so I fully intend to read it)
- Creating Community by Stanley + Willits (curious about their take on the subject and my experience with Stanley has been easy reading)
- Hello I'm Special by Hal Niedzviecki (I'm actually about 1/5 of the way into this, but haven't read it for quite some time.)
- The Elegant Universe by Brian Greene (last time I read this I got about half-way through and bogged down)
- The Effective Executive by Peter Drucker (about 1/5 through this one as well but haven't touched it in a while)
- Branding Faith by Phil Cooke (got it as a freebie *thanks Greg* not necessarily dying to read it immediately)
I feel good about completing the first 4. The latter 6, I'll be satisfied if I can go 50/50. Still taking suggestions for next year's reading.
I also wouldn't mind to pick up a couple more Civil War books (hope you enjoy them, Troy).
Monday Morning List
Friday
- Gave blood for the first time ever. Not a bad experience.
- For some reason I had a craving to watch the movie Paycheck. So I rented it and watched it.
Saturday
- Took my wife's car to have a new air conditioning motor installed. Was advised to go out to South Arlintong to get this done. Got out there and they we're like "leave it and we'll get to it on Monday." Drove back to Colleyville and got it done. Yeah, Adventure.
- Finished one book (The Shack) and received another in the mail (The New Media Frontier).
- Started watching Season 5 of 24.
Sunday
- Church was good. Several of my team leaders were out, so my morning was a little higher stress than normal.
- Nap.
- Watched most of the Cowboys' game at BWW with friends. Not a huge fan of the new location.
Ground Breaking
I've been reading this book called the Shack.
Last night I came across a passage that really had me looking at things differently than I ever had before.
There's no mercy or grace in rules, not even for one mistake. That's why Jesus fulfilled all of it for you - so that it no longer has jurisdiction over you. And the Law that once contained impossible demands - Thou Shalt Not... - actually becomes a promise we fulfill in you. (202)
I don't know that I can do justice in attempting to explain that. It's heady, but I think that it is boiled down to its core right there.
I've always heard it described that Jesus came to fulfill the Law, but I had never fully understanded what that meant for me. But here it is: What was once a demand - something you are responsible to do - has now become a promise - a statement about who you are in Christ.
Like I say, I can't do this concept justice. I just ask that you consider it for yourself.
Head Start
So, based on the Struggle conversation I've decided to take more specific aim with my development for next year.
I've honed in on 3 areas that I want to learn more about - but I've had very little luck finding specific resources so, if you know of any great books, teaching sessions, or whatever you might know of in the folowing areas:
- Strategy [development and execution] - not "vision"
- Human Logistics/Personnel Management
- Mass Communication [theory/methods/media]
I'm looking for about 9 books (I already own Execution by Bossidy and Charan)
I'm also thinking of doing a study of Nehemiah because I think that it covers all of the subjects above, so if you have resources for that, I would be grateful for that as well.
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