Communicating with Integrity Revisited
"Manipulation could be described as a relational lie. It is not merely deception in language, but the corruption of trust. When we manipulate, we deceive those who trust not only our words, but also our intent." - from Chasing Daylight by Erwin McManus
This one is rough for me because I have something of a penchant for being manipulative. What can I say, I was an only child who tended to get his way. Fortunately, I've become aware of what was once just a subconcious behavior. Looking at it in light of the quote above makes it even more real to me.
Things like PR and some advertising have been called "manipulative." I think that the above definition does something to save them from that label.
Last week I posted a USA Today article about my church. Someone on the USA Today website responded by scoffing at the idea of having a strategy for reaching people - as though that were manipulative. To which I respond, people have a strategy for everything, whether they are aware of it or not.
Strange Sounds
What's up?
I'm in a Guatemala right now in a little town called Antigua. It's very much a tourist place, but at the same time it's very traditional.
One thing about it, however, has really shocked me.
I've heard Coldplay 5 or 6 times now since I've been here.
Just thought I would share.
The Influence Factor Revisited
"Authority can shape what a person does, but influence shapes who a person becomes." - from Chasing Daylight by Erwin McManus
In many ways this echos a lot of the leadership teaching that is out there, in that, there is a great difference between positional leadership and influential leadership.
Also, I think that this idea cuts to the core of influence, which is, influence is transformational.
Conversation of the Week
Well, before I left town I was processing a book that I've probably already mentioned on here called Chasing Daylight by McManus. [Actually, I read an older publishing of this book where it went by a different title, so a few references may be different.]
Anyway, I thought I would toss out a few quotes from it and process them "aloud." I'd love to hear your thoughts as well.
So, that's what will happen the next couple of days. But for now...
- Have any of you read this book?
- What did you think?
- Have you read anything by McManus?
If not, I highly recommend it.
A Simple Treat
I've loved Dashboard Confessional from the first time that I heard them.
I was listening to this song and wanted to share the music video with you.
[Note: This was a listener submission to a contest that DC ran. It was chosen and re-filmed for distribution. To watch the final cut, go look up Dashboard Confessional on myspace.]
Leave a Message at the Beep
I'm out of the country, but the blog will live on state-side.
A few posts are programmed to pop up this week, but maybe not as regularly as I would post otherwise.
So, stay tuned. I'd love for you to leave feedback, just know that I won't see it for a few days.
USA Today
The church where I work (and a number of my readers attend) was in USA Today yesterday.
I won't reprint the article for copyright reasons, but click on the photo below for the link.
I love it that Ross is wearing a name tag in the photo.
Old Favorite
Dashboard Confessional: So Impossible EP
In my mind, this is one of the greatest records ever. It's simple, it's passionate, it tells a story.
The title track was my first exposure the DC.
I'm not going to call it a Timeless Album, but it certainly is greatness.
The whole thing (4 songs) is less than 15 minutes long, but it feels like so much more because of the journey it takes you on.
I don't know how easy or hard it is to get a copy of the album, but I would suggest that you do what you must to get it.
Identity
So, for the last couple of days we've discussed the idea of people and experiences shaping our lives. I hope that it has sparked some internal dialogue for you.
I'm just finishing listening to a podcast by Erwin McManus called "Reclaim Your Life". (Unfortunately they only keep a limited number of episodes on their podcast listing and this one is no longer available.) It's interesting to me how timely this is.
McManus makes a number of great observations including: sometimes what we do becomes how we're identified (oh, he's the 'Starbucks guy'), and sometimes we spend too much doing things we just tolerate rather than the things we love.
So, this sparked in me the thought that - while we are most definitely shaped by our influences and experiences - those things simply don't define us.
McManus asks several poignant questions in his talk. The first one, though very simple, has the potential to delve very deep.
- Why are you doing what you are doing?
Is it because that's what you've always been doing? Is it because you feel obligated to do it? Or is it because that is who you were made to be?
My (Former) Biggest Fear
Today is a continuation of yesterday's discussion, even though that might not be evident until the end.
(Aside: I really appreciate the comments that I get from you guys. You often set me thinking in a different direction than where I began. And I like that.)
So, up until about 3 years ago, if you had asked me to name my biggest fear, I would have told you with a straight face and in all seriousness, "time travel."
I grew up watching all of the Back to the Future movies and thought that they were great. A few years ago, I discovered a different type of time travel film called The Butterfly Effect and it really messed with me.
Eventually I overcame this fear through logic and reason. But it did have a chilling grip on me for a long time.
That said, the point of this post is the reason behind my fear and it relates back directly to what we talked about yesterday.
I was afraid of someone ruining my life.
I've not always had the best life. In fact some of it has been down right miserable. But for nearly all of it, I've been able to say that I wouldn't have it any other way. Today, I can definitely say that - with all of my "baggage" in tow.
I've stated before that I find God in the small things. The quantum matter (literally and figuratively). And I'm so amazed by how the slightest changes impact the world.
For instance, I was in a wreck two weeks ago. Before the wreck I sat in my car for about 30 seconds looking for a song on a CD (not while I was driving, mind you, but while I was parked). Had I not put that song on and just left, the accident would have been avoided. But step back from that, I had called my dad 30 minutes before the accident. If he didn't have to come in from outside to answer the phone - there's my 30 seconds. And what factors caused him to be outside in the first place?
My fear came from the idea that if someone could travel through time, any action that they may take could (and most likely would) affect my life.
So, what's the point? Just like those negative influences we talked about before, everything plays a part in crafting who we are and where we are in life.
I could go on this topic for hours, but I'll save it for another time. In short:
The things that we do affect each other. The choices we make affect the choices others make.
I regret the poor choices that I've made because I know that they hurt people and they were wrong. That said, I would never wish to "undo" them because to do so would most certainly mean that I wouldn't be who or where I am today. Would my life be better? Possibly. Would my life be worse? Who's to say. It's not a risk that I'm willing to consider.
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